Slander ‘08

With only a month to go in the election, each candidate is hoping for a “game changer” — that one moment in the campaign that finally turns the election decisively in their favor.  For the final 31 days, we will introduce a daily game changer that we believe voters should take into account before voting.

The average American voter.

I’ll be honest with you: I’m backdating this post.  Game Changer #19 has already been posted.  And why?  This election has become boring.  True, I overestimated my ability to come up with a “game changer” on a daily basis, especially in light of a campaign marked by a giant front-runner and obscured by a major economic crisis, but even more so than that, this election has become a freakin’ snoozefest.

John McCain is too old and not enough of a risk taker to make potent attacks.  Barack Obama is too much of a nice guy, liberal pussy to take any real jabs.  And Joe Biden and Sarah Palin have too much bullshit flying out of their mouths that they’ve settled into a healthy mix of their campaigns not letting them talk and the public not caring when they do.

What happened to Bloomberg?!  You know what’s more fun than trying to repeal some ridiculous city ordinance to get a third term as mayor of New York City?  Entering the race as an independent candidate and becoming leader of the free f’ing world!

Where’s our Ross Perot?  Jesse Ventura?  Hell, I’d settle for Jesse Jackson at this point.  Uhg.  I need some freakin’ excitement around here.  What’s Joe the Plumber up to?  Maybe I’ll go make a Joe the Plumber dance video and post it on YouTube.